Popot facilitating a local peace consultation at Barangay Dungguan in Aleosan. Dungguan is a Moro dominated village whose barangay captain is a friend of Popot. Photo: Myraflor Otero

Before I came to meet the people of Aleosan, I was all along thinking that all the misfortune in the world have been dumped on me. My values and principles in life have been challenged – me as a woman, a mother, a gender advocate, a Sustainable Integrated Area Development Organizer (SIADO).

I’m feeling so unlucky because I was brokenhearted twice in my life; feeling so unfortunate because I can’t buy all the things that I really love, or asking myself “why wasn’t I born rich?” Out there working in the field, I have lots of complaints – the food is not good, it’s so damn hot in the area, no water, too much mosquitos, getting dark and blemished skin, the transport allowance is not enough, among other things.

Though mine is a self-inflicted pain, those of the people of Aleosan are caused by external forces. (Although we know fairly well, they are part of a bigger solution.)

Aleosan in the province of North Cotabato is a conflict affected area where people experienced war brought about by the government’s and the majority mainstream Filipinos’ misunderstanding of the Bangsamoro people’s struggle for their right to self-determination.

In August of 2008, war broke out between the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) and the military in four barangays of Aleosan. Many people were displaced from their own communities and economic activities stopped, causing poverty and hunger. Because of the war, they have been feeling more disheartened and discouraged. But in spite of all these, people still find something to hold on to. And so, life goes on for the people of Aleosan.

When we conducted the first Local Peace Consultation in Barangay Dunguan of Aleosan, I had the chance to talk with the people. Here are these people, all Moro brothers and sisters who felt so much pain, experiencing the worst things in life. But when you ask them, “How are you now?” They would readily answer: “Oh, we’re ok! We have the 3H – we’rehappy, helpful and hopeful.”

Hearing those words, I felt so ashamed of myself. I was actually dumbstruck and tongue-tied. For a moment I was not able to speak. At that moment, I thought I must have been the most selfish and pathetic person in the world. Now I realized that, compared to these people’s plight,I don’t have the right to complain at all.

It was definitely a wake-up call for me! It also made me realize that for awhile, I forgot that personal is political – relating my problems to a much bigger context, mine are just sooo petty when you view them from the perspective of the people’s continuing struggle, our struggle….

Now I know I’m very lucky. The people of Aleosan helped me get back on the right track. They made me realize that I am relevant, that my role as an organizer is very significant.

I just have to share this internal transformation happening in my life. I know it’s very petty, yet relevant to my moving onwards as a woman, and as a SIADO of Balay Mindanaw– that for once, here I am once more with fire in the belly, inspired to be with the communities again as they go on with their struggle for dignity, respect and love, and most importantly, claiming for equity, justice and peace.