Remembering the victims of the Ampatuan Massacre in Maguindanao

“I trust you, and I have faith in you….We have all been through traumatic experiences, but I believe we are each other's reward for overcoming them, and we have each other to battle them in the future.... we don't have to go/do it alone anymore.”

This is part of a letter of Andrea S Parhamovich¹ among from the many email exchanges she had with her fiancée Michael Hastings before she died in Baghdad, of which is quoted by Hastings² in his book “I Lost My Love in Baghdad.” This statement made me reflect on how I have journeyed in Maguindanao as part of Balay Mindanaw, as a Mindanawon, and as a woman peace builder.

This reflection is an offering….

… to the lives lost in November 23, 2009, the most violent act in recent years dubbed as the Ampatuan Massacre,
… to the lives unborn who would have been the next generation of the Mindanao’s,
… to the lives of the living who are working towards transforming the violence into an energy towards peace despite the pain of being wounded,
… to the people who continually feel and support Mindanao regardless of tribe, nationality and ideology,
… to the people of Maguindanao and of Mindanao.

This reflection is based on the journey which began a year ago, on November 23, 2009, at 3:00 o’clock in the afternoon, when young and old enlisted personnel -- mostly from the 6th Infantry Division and some from the 4th Infantry Division of the Philippine Army, and Philippine National Police of Region 10 -- started arriving at the International Center for Peace in Mindanaw to attend the Operation Peace Course (OP Kors!) training, where they were received by the trainers from ICPeace, PNP and PA. That afternoon floods of text messages were arriving, too, from OP Kors! graduates from the 64th Infantry Battalion who graduated from the course just two days before. “Ate, we are in deep pain; we are digging for bodies here in Maguindanao.” “Kuya Bau, kumusta po kayo? Dito po kami Ampatuan.” “Our learnings during our peace course are now put to a test.”

They said they were facing the greatest challenge in their lives as peace builders for right after their training, they were now digging graves in the municipality of Ampatuan.

It alarmed us more as the supposed documentor, an active journalist from Cotabato, arrived a bit hysterical as she requested to watch the television for the news. She was getting updates from her husband through text messages while she was travelling.

Shocked and bewildered, we, the trainers and the Balay Mindanaw family, immediately texted and called up one another to know more about the massacre. Despite what happened, the OP Kors! training for the enlisted personnel was pushed through, with added discussions on the incident. A solidarity prayer was organized on the eve of November 25, where prayers were offered in memoriam of the dead.

Many events have transpired since then. But up to this day, I, and I’m sure many among us too, am still bleeding because of what had happened. But it has enabled me and many others to explore possibilities of healing and of learning.

Let me share with you three key lessons that has impacted my life as a part of the staff of Balay Mindanaw and as a peace builder.

With such a violent event that thrust Mindanaw to the limelight once more, we in Balay Mindanaw had a series of discussions, and were confronted with a lot of questions. How do we move forward? How can we be of help? How can we take a proactive role in this situation? These questions did not only challenge us as an institution, but as individuals, too.

Leonardo "Bau" Bautista (right) and Maj. Guinolbay visit the massacre site on the 100th day, March 3, 2010.

Initially, as the military was really keen on asking assistance from Balay Mindanaw, key Balay Mindanaw leaders – like Kaloy and Ayi – were in constant communication with Lt Gen Raymundo B Ferrer, the commander of the Eastern Mindanao Command; with Maj Gen Anthony Alcantara, the 6ID commanding general; with Chief Supt Reginald Villasanta, head of the PNP Intelligence Command; and also with the key non-state security leaders like the Revolutionary Workers Party of Mindanao (RPMM). Meanwhile, there were constant text messages with OpKors! graduates who have been assigned in the area.

As a non-government organization, Balay Mindanaw felt the need for a lot of bridging efforts, like connecting with civil society organizations in Maguindanao.

The work for peace still continues as we support the state security sector, as we continually talk with the key leaders and by conducting recall sessions, camp visits (with Cloud 9 and sweets to share), calling and sending text messages. During the recall sessions, we conduct stress debriefings for them to be reenergized, so they can reaffirm that they are not alone in this journey.

From our base in Northern Mindanao, we reached out to Maguindanao to work with the state security sector. But we soon found out that our work goes beyond that. We have witnessed the animosity between the state security sector and the CSOs, with the military and the police’s image tarnished. We were thus obligated to bring both together so they could work hand-in-hand. It was timely because the CSOs recognize Balay Mindanaw as partner in peace, having been part of Mindanawan networks and our involvement in several initiatives.

The concept of Gathering for Peace in Maguindanao was then initiated. Key to these are Lt Col Benjamin Hao, who has taken the lead in the 6ID with the strong support of Maj Gen Anthony Alcantara, the division commander; Bapa Sammy Maulana of the Consortium of Bangsamoro Civil Society, who gave a nod in involving the CSOs in the gathering; and Kaloy and Ayi, whose track records earned the trust of both the state security sector and the CSOs.

The gathering happened on March 16, 2010, on a Wednesday, at Mang Gorio’s Grill in Cotabato City. People affected by the Ampatuan Massacre, relatives of both the aggrieved and the accused families, civil society, the media, teachers, policemen and soldiers came. The gathering was not meant to blame each other, but to discuss how to be with each other in moving forward, facing the challenges of healing and the call for justice.

The first meeting was the beginning of what is now called the Good Wednesday for Peace Group (GWPG). The group has been meeting on Wednesdays and has already met for more than 15 times, discussing concerns on community dialogues among internally displaced persons (IDPs or more popularly known as “bakwits”), CSOs, security forces (both state and non-state, including paramilitary); conflict mapping and peace interventions in priority areas, and now has moved further in mapping ridos; and strategically positioning itself in helping address these concerns and also seeing itself as a venue for discussing concerns in relation to the present peace processes going on in the region.

So far, relationships among the stakeholders have been strengthened, specifically between CSOs and the military, especially so because the military’s perception of CSOs is not so good. It has suspected some groups of having ties with the MILF.

Principled partnership, respect to subsidiarity, and collaboration guided Balay Mindanaw’s first engagements with these stakeholders. It was very clear at the onset that Balay Mindanaw would not actually or directly take on programs or activities in these areas. It would just help provide spaces for dialogues, joint context and issue analysis, and help arrive at concrete options to take in addressing equity and justice-based issues of the incident.

Aside from involvement in the Good Wednesday for Peace Group, Balay Mindanaw increased site visits to Maguindanao with OpKors! graduates -- to the command posts in Datu Piang, Ampatuan, Sharrif Aguak. The visits were for moral support and sending messages of solidarity and reminders that the massacre should not dampen our quest for peace. As soldiers believe that they are part of the solution, it cannot also be denied that they have the armors, the guns, the bullets and the institution that can also be used in war. But at that moment, graduates have been challenged to hold their fire as the commanders too believed that building relationships with the community is key in “holding the guns from firing.”

Peace concerts were initiated by OP Kors! graduates who have operated in these areas.

Lesson No. 1. The Maguindanao massacre, violent as it already was, is a source of more violence. But the task of helping bridge groups and transcending biases of tribes and of roles in society (military vis-à-vis CSOs) have been a source of energy for us to continue our peacebuilding work. Balay Mindanaw as an institution is steadfast in its vision of peace even with the changes in the political and peace terrain in Mindanao. The work we are doing in Maguindanao may seem to have stretched Balay Mindanaw’s scope but it did not. It only gave us an opportunity to be flexible and proactive in our peacebuilding work. The limited funds has not been a hindering factor, nor is the lack of capacity to do widen our scope. The will as an institution to do what needs to be done is key in this experience of continually bridging people and groups towards building relationships among those who have been victims of violence.

The massacre’s impact on me is very personal, even if I have been involved in this as a staff. This experience enabled me to be trusting – to my mentors and to the process itself, and to myself. I know that the GWPG’s composition is so diverse that one need to be sensitive in dealing with issues such as death, oppression, violations, roles, power, biases, discrimination; which could emit emotions like anger, remorse, disgust, self-pity, doubts; and produces reactions like defensiveness, timidity, aggressiveness.

This journey hit me real hard as OP Kors! graduates bombarded me, through text messages, with questions. “Bok, why did you let me be here!?” “Aren’t you my mentor?” “Ano na ang gagawin ko?” (What should I do now?). They have questioned my sincerity in being a peace builder. These questions shook me and made me shout till I cried out loud, and said to myself: “Hey, I am just a trainer, not your supervisor!” Yet, after honest conversations and continued communications, the succeeding messages – like “No more gunshots for three days, I am already with the imams.” “Salamat pala sa pagbisita at sa kape at tsokolate, bok.” (Thank you for the visit, the coffee and chocolates, pal.) – were reaffirming of my value as a trainer.

It was also only in this journey that I heard reassuring words from both Moro activists and the military. Bapa Sammy, for instance, said: “Kung hindi lang dahil sa Balay Mindanaw, di ako makipag-usap sa mga military” (If not only because of Balay Mindanaw, I will not be talking with the military). Lt Col Benjie Hao, on the other hand, told me: “Balay Mindanaw ang nagtulak sa amin na makipag-usap sa mga CSOs, kaya walang iwanan! (Balay Mindanaw has pushed us to engage with the CSOs, hence, we shouldn’t leave each other out in the cold.) These encouraging words affirmed the value of Balay Mindanaw’s efforts in bridging peoples for the quest of peace.

Lesson No 2. Projecting and reminding ourselves constantly that Mindanao is an island where the people by themselves are a resource for development and peace, not an island where people are the sources of conflict brought about by the differences in tribe and religion. This must always be the overarching framework of our peacebuilding work. As a Mindanawon, I believe that the massacre is not and should not be a reason to label Mindanao as an unsafe and unpeaceful place. As it now, images of war and of hunger and of corruption and of lack of governance are the only ones projected to identify Mindanao. Only a few have recognized that Mindanao may have been a victim of war and violence, but it has grown into a place where creativity of peacebuilding work abound.

On a personal note, I grew up in the country’s only Islamic City – Marawi – where I spent my childhood years with Moro kids. I had experienced violence in the act of discrimination and threats to Christians. My mother was a victim of an ambush (she survived, fortunately) and close family friends were kidnapped. My family eventually left Marawi for it was too much to handle. Our parents concluded that it was not a good place for little children to grow up amidst the fear and violence. I spent my childhood there yet banned to roam around the city without any company, lived in a house with a wooden façade yet behind it was a thick concrete wall for fear of bullets piercing through, where gunshots were common sound and flares a common sight in the cold and dark nights. Fleeing the place is not the answer to the conflict. But probably it was a way of making me live through and find a different way to be with the Moro people again later in my life.

It is only then in this journey that I have touched based again with the Moro people. In my childhood, I had so many Moro friends, yet I lived in fear. But now, I have gained brothers and sisters and have a growing Moro family. I traveled Maguindanao with friends and colleagues and sometimes alone but has been courageous knowing that I am not traveling alone. I felt reconnected with my past, with no thoughts of fleeing from it, and brave enough to face the future knowing that I am not alone, but with them.

It is only in this journey that I have been discussing the pain – not only by bullets but also with stigma and animosity – of being wounded in the violent conflict, and also working towards transforming the pain into energy that could help build peace.

Lesson No 3. As a peace builder, dialogue is a common word yet it should be a space for everyone. This has been a reminder from Kaloy during the early gatherings of the Good Wednesday for Peace Group. The space has been provided for all and everyone is encouraged to speak and to listen so that others listen to you as well. All groups should be able to express their feeling and their thoughts and should also learn to listen to other people’s feelings and thoughts. It cannot be denied that with the gathering of different people with different ideas and perceptions, debates will most likely erupt, triggering anger that sometimes we forget the reason why each one is there. Hence, as peace builder, a reminder of why you are there is key to making the dialogue more meaningful and transforming.

On a personal note, I experienced anger listening to the stories of violence and inside me is the issue of “my pain is much more painful than yours.” While listening to stories, my stomach twitched in pain and tears rolled down my cheeks. I get affected but reality bites. I too have my own pain, not necessarily caused by the massacre, but of my own personal experiences brought back by just listening to the stories of others.

It is only in this journey that my passion for peace is tested to the limits that almost made me give up, for in peacebuilding work your innermost weakness is tested, i.e., the handling emotions. Being involved in a cause does not make you frigid of the emotions it brings or it creates. You see a lot of discrepancies and your tolerance is tested. You see yourself almost being swallowed by the system you are trying to change, and so you continue to fight it. Thus, remind yourself always to hold on to that moment and breathe, and continue towards achieving the goal. Take a break then take back the rein and never give up.

It is only in this journey that I learned that as a peace builder, you are not present in all the processes involved, that you have to acknowledge that in certain processes, you let others take the rein. As a peace builder, you have to learn to become non-existent as others continue with the work…

Hence, on that fateful day, the people who took part in the journey for change on the road from Buluan to Ampatuan, had so much trust in themselves that change will happen. Indeed, true enough, change happened despite the agony they faced as they may have lost their lives. Their families and the people did mourn but the zest for life still lives on and the work for peace have been strengthened. I am thankful for having been given the opportunity to work in Maguindanao. It is an experience that gained me trust, and learned to trust on others. Like Andy and Michael, as people who experienced traumatic experiences, facing the challenge together and building trust between them, and now facing the present together. The Ampatuan Massacre not only made me realize and experience the present, but also enabled all of us to envision the future as we journey together.

Lastly, these lessons are an offering to the people and institutions who have given me the trust to journey for peace in Maguindanao.

¹ was a National Democratic Institute employee killed in Baghdad, Iraq when her convoy was ambushed as she was returning from teaching a class on democracy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Parhamovich)